After impregnating a woman 43 years their junior, Mick Jagger’s testicles have asked once again if they might be able to retire.
At 72 years of age, the testicles are being asked to perform duties many of their contemporaries left behind thirty years ago.
As the left one explained, “I’m not so young anymore, and frankly, we can’t keep going like this, he’s working us into an early grave.
“We’ve tried distancing ourselves from him, but those extra few inches we’ve gained over the years haven’t made the slightest bit of difference.”
The right one added, “Friends of our stopped having to procreate in their thirties – their THIRTIES! Yet here were are, being asked to produce spermatozoa in an unrelenting cycle of ‘produce release produce release’.
“It’s more than exhausting; it’s cruel. Testicles of our age should be slipping out the side of poorly-fitting swimming trunks next to a pool in Spain, not slapping into a 29-year-old ballerina busy pretending to enjoy it.
“Just let us retire, you’ve had seventy years of loyal service from us Mick, please, you know it’s the right thing to do.”
When asked for comment, Mick Jagger said they just need a banana and a quick nap, and they’ll be good to go again in about an hour.