Boris Johnson demands meeting with MI6’s James Bond

author avatar by 7 years ago

New Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has demanded that MI6 arrange a meeting for him with their top agent, James Bond, at his earliest convenience.

Johnson wasted no time after taking up his new role before asking aides to set up a face to face briefing with 007, an agent whose career he has followed closely ever since he defeated Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s attempts to control a global missile system in the early 1980s.

A Foreign Office insider told us, “We thought he was joking, but then he said it was important he develops a strong relationship with the nation’s top secret agent, and to thank him personally for taking down Spectre.

“He wanted to press the flesh and discuss zipline techniques or something.”

Johnson himself said that he was looking forward being able to develop a new special brand of international diplomacy, before asking if he could get some ‘alone time’ with Q.

He told Foreign Office staff, “I’m looking for a new push bike that also has a jet propulsion system, or a pen that fires neurotoxins into ambassadors that are boring me?

“What about Union flag cufflinks that can pick locks and hack computers? To be honest, I’ll take whatever he’s got lying around really.”

Johnson has also asked MI6 officials for an agent with a licence to kill to pay a visit to his friend Michael Gove.