Woman who picked Portugal in office sweepstake acting like she’s a football savant

author avatar by 8 years ago

The woman in your office who picked Portugal out of a hat a month ago is today acting like she’s some sort of footballing soothsayer with a gift for predicting sporting results.

Sharon Williams, who processes invoices for a living, selected Portugal after being reluctantly convinced to spend five pounds in the sweepstake she had previously declared as ‘totally stupid’.

Williams told us, “Clearly I have found my calling, and that is in the world of gambling.

“If you’d told me a month ago I’d be the sort of person who could pick the winning football team out of twenty-four competing sides, I’d have laughed at you, but here I am, sitting on a tidy profit from my first foray into the complex world of sports betting.

“So, if anyone wants to talk about this year’s premier league, or the World Cup qualification campaign, or who is likely to win promotion to the top flight this year, then I’m available for consultations. Paid for consultations, obviously.”

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Office manager Shane Matthews told us, “She’s become insufferable, frankly. She is literally the best at picking names randomly out of a hat. That’s it.

“A month ago she thought Ronaldo was the ‘clown bloke at McDonald’s’.

“Me? I got France, but me being incredibly bitter is nothing to do with that.”