Plucky Briton Andy Murray is British again after winning Wimbledon, British news sites are delighted to report today.
Murray, whose stunning straight-sets victory secured the trophy for Britain, is as British as cups of tea, bowler hats, red telephone boxes, rain, and war with Germany.
Photographs of heroic Briton Murray bedecked in the British Union Jack of Great Britain will grace the covers of most British newspapers tomorrow morning.
Speaking reporters, Briton Murray said, “I say! Ra-ther! That was a top-hole victory, what? Anyone fancy a spot of tiffin?
“Those last few sets were heart-stopping. I could feel myself on the cusp of becoming British again, and it was that knowledge which drove me on to victory.
“I had a ripping time winning the cup for Britain, and hope to stay British for more than a few weeks this time.”
Murray is expected to remain British until the next time he plays Roger Federer.
In other news, the England football team is to be known as ‘them’ until further notice.