Internet fanfic writers overjoyed as Mr Sulu revealed as gay

author avatar by 7 years ago

Writers of smutty Internet fan fiction are celebrating today after Star Trek‘s Hikaru Sulu was revealed as homosexual.

The character, who has been a part of Trek lore for 50 years, will be revealed as dating a man in the latest film in the franchise – leading to authors of fairly worrying online stories completely freaking out.

Simone Williams,  self-declared spokesperson for the fanfic-writing community had the following to say.

“When I heard, I was like, ‘Oh. My. God.’ I had to get online and totally PM everyone else I know that writes and squeeeee! at them because, like, this, really, means that the story I wrote where the Star Trek crew beam down to a Hogwarts planet and the scene with Professor Snape and Mr Sulu is just, like, totally canon now.

“Oh. My. God. Can you imagine if they make Chewbacca in Star Wars gay as well? I’ve had this great idea for a crossover story which I might even submit to Hollywood if that happens. It would be like all my Christmases coming at once.

“Actually, that gives me another great idea for a story.”

Creators of Star Trek say that while they’re very pleased the new development has been taken to heart by the online community, that’d be very grateful if the online community would stop sending in their stories now. Please.

“Thanks for the stories, guys!” said an unnamed Paramount executive who asked to remain nameless for fear of receiving more.

“But if it’s all the same to you, if you’ve read one Klingon/Gorn/ Sulu love triangle story, you’ve read ’em all.”