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Conservative leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom has dismissed ‘ridiculous’ criticism of her pre-politics career, saying her ‘incredibly varied’ CV is ‘all absolutely true’.
“Everything on my CV is 100% fact,” said the energy minister.
“I was in Dexy’s Midnight Runners around the time of the Searching For The Young Soul Rebels album but left before they had the number one with Come on Eileen’ as the folksy Celtic soul thing felt a little too forced for me.”
Mrs Leadsom’s CV also claims that she was in the sequel to Jurassic Park, that she has x-ray vision, and that she invented cheese.
“I’d imagine that other candidates who have simply been lifelong professional politicians are nervous that I have had a wide-ranging career with the sort of life experience that appeals to the public.
“But the fact remains that I wrote the Shining and filled in for Jet on TV’s Gladiators when she was forced into a period of sick leave.”
Mrs Leadsom, however, has refused to confirm or deny claims that throughout the 80s and 90s she fought crime in Gotham City as Batman.
“A secret identity is a secret identity,” she said.
“I can say no more.”
