Tuesday 5 July 2016 by Gary Stanton

Chilcot report to indict Lionel Blair

Lionel Blair

The Chilcot report into the Iraq war has arrived over seven years late and full of glaring errors.

Weighing in at over five-hundred pages, the dossier is heavily critical of family entertainer, Lionel Blair, and his apparent involvement in the slaughter of Iraqi civilians.

As a result, Blair, now a frail 85-year-old, may be required to perform his tap dance routine in front of judges in The Hague.

The star is famous for his memorable role in the charade-based light entertainment show Give us a Clue, which resulted in the deaths of hardly any British troops.

However, Blair denies any involvement in the greed-motivated, illegal assault on Iraq and claims he spent the latter part of 2003 appearing in panto as Mother Goose on Margate Pier.

The retired father of three says he is in no way related to the genuine blood-soaked war criminal, Tony Blair, and has been the victim of a simple mix up.

But families who were exposed to Give us a Clue between 1979 and 1992 are still demanding answers.

Confused man, Simon Williams, said, “Along with his side-kick Liza Goddard, Blair was a team captain and therefore was in it up to his neck.

“Look at the evidence: Three words – it’s a book and a film. First word sounds a bit like…eh? What on earth is he trying to say there?

“He’s just making it up as he goes along.”

Sir John Chilcot added, “A father of three, you say?”

“Well blow me. I always thought he was gay.”

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