Chris Evans and Nigel Farage are just going to switch jobs to make it easier for everyone.
Farage will host Top gear and bring the much-missed air of middle-aged befuddlement and racism back to the show, while Evans will lead UKIP in the shouty, overbearing style to which they are accustomed.
“Everyone’s a winner,” beamed Simon Williams, booking agent for both men.
“Everyone knows that Nigel Farage’s true home is Top Gear, whereas Chris Evans doesn’t really have a natural home now the 90s are over, but UKIP will do.
“Top Gear fans get a comical bigot back in the driving seat, and UKIP fans get a whole new kind of tosspot. It’s a brave new world.”
Top Gear fan, Elizabeth King, said, “please don’t tell anyone I’m a Top Gear fan.
“But also, Farage will be brilliant. He’s basically Clarkson dialled up to eleven, when you think about it, which you shouldn’t do, obviously.
“I’ve not given Chris Evans much thought, but then who does?”