Joe Ledley to purchase Penny-Farthing

author avatar by 6 years ago

Welsh international Joe Ledley is to use his matchwinners fee to purchase a Penny-Farthing velocipede; he has informed the world in a missive in the Court & Social section in The Times newspaper.

The footballer plans to ride his new velocipede to training to better display his magnificent gentleman’s adventuring beard to unchaperoned young ladies in the hope of causing them to swoon.

Ledley, who was scouted for Wales from the pages of a Victorian street urchin’s periodical, is understood to be disappointed that he is not allowed to wear enormous shorts when playing.

Wales insiders tell us that he claims he’d still play eight or ten times better than Raheem Sterling in gigantic shorts and is disappointed the answer is, thus far, no.

However, team management has made concessions and allowed Ledley to smoke a pipe and engage in manly fisticuffs during training, as well as taking time off to take part in an expedition up the mighty Orinoco river in search of a lost city.

“Of course, we’re concerned that Ledley might engage in perilous pursuits, but with a beard like that it’s to be expected,” we were told.

“He arrived in Lille with a pith helmet and butterfly net in case adventure beckoned away from the pitch, and is up for derring-do at a moment’s notice.

“He’s asked if it’s possible to travel to the next match on the Orient-Express, as there might be a murder for him to solve.”