Blond idiot completes spectacular month at work

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Boris Johnson has admitted he might take some time off after completing what has been, by all definitions, a spectacular month at work.

Just moments after announcing he wouldn’t be running for leader of the party, Boris said he might take a little break to ‘recharge the old batteries’.

He explained, “I’ve had some busy periods in my career, not least around London 2012, but this last month has been nothing short of a blur.

“I’ve lied to the electorate, made promises I can’t keep, driven a big red bus, dragged the country out of a hugely beneficial economic organisation and told all my friends I’m running for Prime Minister – that’s a lot to cram into four weeks.

“Oh, yes, I also decided not to run for Prime minister after all.

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“Sometimes it’s important to look back at the utter shit show you’ve left in your wake and ask to yourself if you really want to be part of that.

“Well I did take a look, and I’m happy to tell you I don’t want to be within a thousand miles of this utter catastrofuck.

“So I’ll see you in a few weeks when the heat’s died down.