The guy in your office who spoke loudly about wanting to “take this country back” is still acting like he’s bloody Churchill, according to sources this morning.
Simon Williams, 45, has spent the last three months telling anyone who would listen that it was time to take back his country from the ‘European hordes’ that want to ‘rule our beautiful isle’.
According to one colleague, Williams spent Friday “high-fiving everyone that made eye contact, whilst the rest of us spent time assessing the damage to our investments and pensions”.
They went on, “Tracy in HR hadn’t bought her holiday Euros before the referendum, so she was quite pissed as you can imagine, mostly at Simon, because it’s really very easy to be pissed at Simon.
“Then he turns up this morning in a double-breasted suit with bow tie, a homburg hat and chewing a fat cigar, whilst flicking the V’s at anyone who looks at him.
“He reckons he’ll soon be able to smoke the cigar in the office because we’re ‘throwing out those bloody Europeans’.”
Williams himself said that this was a great time to be a proud Brit, and that he is delighted he got to play a part in the country’s victory.
He said, “We won, we are victorious, and all you Euro-sympathisers will soon be round up and shot.
“Well, ok, sorry Tracy – yes, HR have already made it quite clear I can’t actually shoot anyone.
“But I can remain smug for the foreseeable future, you just watch me.”