Sixty towns join waiting list for new post-Brexit hospital

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The waiting list of towns wanting a new post-Brexit hospital is now so big, you might be waiting a whole year for yours, according to reports this morning.

With £350m a week definitely going to be spent on the NHS by the post-Brexit government, towns without their own hi-tech medical facilities have rushed to be first to receive a new hospital.

Daventry resident Simon Williams told us, “I was hoping to get in early, but it seems there are already sixty people ahead of me also wanting a new hospital.

“I brought a tent like when I queued up for the Apple watch, but this queue means it’s going to be at least August next year before we get the £350m for ours.

“That’s ages, but I guess we don’t have any choice. This Brexit lark isn’t all it was cracked up to be.

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“To be honest, I don’t mind waiting a little bit longer as long as we can we get one of those big clicky machines that takes photos of your insides? They look cool.”