A poll taken minutes after Michael Gove suggested he may resign if ‘Vote Remain’ wins the referendum, briefly showed 150% of the UK population were now thinking of voting to remain.
Ten times winner of ‘Most Objectionable Human Being Alive’, Mr Gove denied attempting to use his position spearheading the Leave campaign as nothing more than an attempt at a power-grab, much as he used his positions as Education and Justice Secretaries solely to build his profile, at the expense of education and justice, respectively.
Current Education Secretary Nicky Morgan denied she was merely a puppet for Mr Gove, saying, “Gottle of Geer! Gottle of Geer!”
Mr Gove’s hint at resignation saw his approval rating climb to an all-time-high of minus 50% but his insistence on discussing it further only in Latin, with corporal punishment handed out for belligerence, saw them return to their usual level just below Robert Mugabe and Noel Edmonds.
Job offers are already coming in and the hope – sorry, expectation – is that he will take one as far away from the UK as possible.