Nation urged not to fuck this up

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The nation has been reminded not to fuck this up today, and to ensure they do the right thing when they enter the voting booth.

After months of campaigning by people you don’t like and people you really don’t like, you’ve been reminded that voting for the correct side is your duty and that messing it up could cause many years of regret for all concerned.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “It’s a massive day in the democratic history of our nation, and we can only hope the voters don’t make a monumental mess of it.

“They’ve heard the arguments of Nigel Farage; they’ve heard the arguments of David Cameron – surely they all know there is only one possible way they can vote, and they will all cast their vote accordingly.

“It’s likely we won’t know whether they’ve messed it up, or not, until about 7am tomorrow morning, so we might well find ourselves going to bed tonight with our fingers crossed in the hope of the correct outcome.

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“Alternatively, exit polls might well indicate that the electorate has finally seen through the pathetic arguments of the other side and overwhelmingly voted the right way. We can only hope.

“Unfortunately, the electorate has a track record going back a hundred years of regularly getting it wrong, so I suspect there are going to be millions of us disappointed tomorrow.

“But this is the price you pay for letting idiots have the vote.”