The US Senate is to hold a vigil to pray for shooting victims and more money from the NRA, and is confident at least one of their prayers will be answered.
The prayers will be led by majority leader Mitch McConnell, who will ask The Lord for mercy for the victims, forgiveness for the perpetrators, and another whopping great cheque from Firearms lobbyists.
The Lord, in his infinite and great wisdom, is expected to answer roughly 33% of these prayers.
McConnell has held similar vigils before, most recently just before the NRA donated $922,000 to his re-election campaign.
McConnell will be supported in the prayer meeting by Senator Roy Blunt, whose devotion to heartfelt entreaty of God was answered with an NRA donation of over $750,000.
The theme of the vigil will be ‘He giveth and he taketh away’, although it is unclear if God or Smith & Wesson is being referred to.
“We want victims’ families and firearms industry lobbyists to know that our thoughts and prayers are with them at this difficult time,” McConnell is reported to have said.
“Together, through the power of prayer and notarised banker’s drafts made out to cash, we can get through this and start the healing process.”