Ronaldo furious at tiny nation’s repeated attempts to beat his team

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Portugal captain Ronaldo has spoken out against the idea that tiny nations at the European Championships should be trying their best to beat him and his team.

After Portugal had been held to a 1-1 draw by Iceland – a country with a population less than Bristol – Ronaldo said that such nations celebrating a point is just ‘not on’.

The Portuguese captain told reporters after the game, “I am Ronaldo, and this is Portugal – small countries do not try their best against Ronaldo, in case their best is actually enough to stop Ronaldo winning.

“Ronaldo does not draw with Iceland; Ronaldo crushes Iceland. Except when he doesn’t, like last night.

“Celebrating a draw with Ronaldo like you’ve won the tournament is bad manners, almost as bad as refusing to shake the hands of your opponents, but Ronaldo only shakes hands when his opponents display the proper levels of respect and admiration for Ronaldo.

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“Look at Ronaldo’s abs – look at them – do these look like the abs of a man who should be drawing with Iceland? No, they do not.

“Ronaldo urges UEFA to explain to smaller nation’s their role in these tournaments; and that is to make Ronaldo look good in the highlights packages, before dropping out before the knock-out stages.

“Naughty Iceland.”