There is a 98% chance that people with an opinion different to yours are mouth-breathing morons, according to science.
“You were right all along,” explained Dr Simon Williams of the Concord Institute.
“And anyone who doesn’t think so is a bit of a twat.”
Dr Williams’ findings have been shared thousands of times on social media, to back up everything from which phone to buy to how you should vote in referenda.
However, not everyone in the scientific community is as bright as Dr Williams: some are actually dim enough to question his methods.
“It’s what you would expect,” explained the pioneer.
“At least you would, if you weren’t a thick durr-brain.
“I think if you look at my findings carefully, you’ll see I’VE WRITTEN THEM IN CAPITALS. AND THAT MEANS THEY’RE TRUE. #FACT.”
Williams was asked if it was better to engage in debate from a position of mutual respect, rather than to denigrate people who had formed a different point of view…
…by a dunderhead who probably can’t find their arse from their elbow, just like Trump or some other berk no-one likes. Noel Edmonds? Yeah, that’ll do.