We support better mental health care but we won’t pay any new taxes, confirms NRA

author avatar by 8 years ago

The NRA has confirmed that they support the improvement of mental health services to prevent lunatics going on rampages, but they won’t pay any more tax.

The issue of people going on regular slaughterfests is clearly a concern to the NRA, and they feel deeply that this could be counteracted by identifying and helping people with mental illness early, as prevention is better than cure.

This would be funded by some magic fairy gold or something as they’re damned if they’ll give ‘the gummint’ any more taxes.

“Clearly it’s imperative to identify potential threats early and help them recover with the very best care money can buy,” NRA spokesman Simon-Bob Williams told us.

“However, I wouldn’t be willing to pay any extra tax to fund this, as that would be Communism.

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“And defending myself against Communism is why I bought my guns in the first place”, he added, displaying quite remarkable circular logic.

The ideal outcome, said Simon-Bob, is that he gets to keep all his guns and someone else does all the work.

“Yes, that would be fair,” he told us.