George Osborne arrives at Queen’s birthday service in hi-viz jacket and helmet

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There were embarrassing scenes at St Paul’s prior to the service in honour of the Queen’s 90th birthday as Chancellor George Osborne arrived in his signature hi-viz jacket and helmet.

“Well, I couldn’t bally believe it,” said another guest.

“It was a formal occasion dedicated to the monarch hosted by the archbishop, and George pitches up in his hi-viz jacket and helmet.

“Bally disgrace.”

It also appears that there were some personal hygiene issues.

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“That’s the problem with George, he wears these bally things all the time and frankly, with all due respect, the Chancellor has a very smelly helmet, and you definitely should not come to St. Paul’s with a smelly bally helmet.

“It’s just not done.”

Ultimately the situation was resolved when the Archbishop Justin Welby told Mr Osborne that he wasn’t ‘wearing that silly f**king jacket in my church.’

However, the situation has an interesting postscript.

After the Queen had sat down, it became apparent that her throne had a wonky leg, and as it is against an ancient law to have a wonky monarch in church on Friday, it looked like the whole proceeding would have to be abandoned.

Happily, though, the Chancellor came to the rescue by donning his hi-viz jacket and helmet and placing a folded beer mat under the offending throne leg.

Mr Osborne then removed the items out of respect for the occasion, but throughout the service a satisfied smile played on his lips.

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