Racist voting to Remain in EU

author avatar by 8 years ago

Racist Simon Williams is voting to remain in the EU, confounding so-called experts in the polling industry.

Williams, a racist for as long as he can remember, said that the arguments from both sides of the referendum debate were compelling, but that the reality of the situation was far more nuanced than either side was willing to admit.

He told reporters, “I find this suggestion that Vote Leave have cornered the racist vote to be deeply offensive.

“I bet some Indian fella made that up, or maybe the Jews, they’re always lying about everything.

“We racists are more than just one thing; we’re a complex set of different identities with different opinions and values – we just really don’t like the brown people or anyone who is in any way different to us.

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“Anyway, I’m voting to Remain because I work for a company that exports a load of stuff to the EU, and I don’t fancy being on the dole next year – not because I like foreigners, and anyone who says different will get a smack in the mouth.

“Yeah, I’m also one of those racists.”

Pollster Michael Jameson told us, “It’s patently obvious to anyone with half a brain that not everyone who wants to leave the EU is racist, but we were confident that everyone who is racist is voting to leave the EU.

“Or so we thought until we met Simon.

“He’s a whole new kind of arsehole, and frankly, we just don’t know what to do with him.

“We’ll probably just classify him as mentally ill and move on.”

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