England earn hard-fought draw against France in Euro Hooligan Championships

author avatar by 8 years ago

England’s football thugs have kicked off this year’s Euro campaign with just a handful of arrests.

On the eve of a football match against Russia, supporters must do better if they are to get the team banned from the competition in the group stages.

Fans congregated early in the main town square, taunting locals with chants of “Café Rouge is overpriced!”

England then upped their tempo, with abuse directed at a local Muslim youth for minding his own business.

However, an incisive counter attack by quick-footed Marseilles residents highlighted familiar defensive frailties.

Thug, Simon Williams, said, “The lads are taking a while to acclimatise. We’re just not used to kicking the shit out of someone in thirty degree heat.

“Also our chair throwing left a lot to be desired, but that’s something we can work on in training.”

On a night of missed opportunities, England will rue the demise of Glenn Hoddle’s ‘golden generation’ who effortlessly kicked the fuck out of Marseille’s locals in 1998.

Again the diamond formation has been called into question, in which three fans surround a Frenchman , while a fourth punches him in the face.

Fans are preparing for tonight’s crucial clash with some offensive chants about Joan of Arc.

Williams added,“I never liked OMD.”