As the Bilderberg Group – a shadowy organisation rumoured to control the destinies of continents – convened in Dresden for its annual meeting, Jeremy Corbyn is understood to still be waiting for his invitation to arrive.
The Group, which is composed of senior figures from finance, government, industry, royalty and the military from around the world, began their 4-day-long meeting behind closed doors today.
In the past, figures including George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and David Cameron have all been invited to attend before they were elected, a move seen by some as proof of the Bilderberg’s influence.
Labour MP Helen Goodman is understood to be attending, but there’s totally nothing in that.
Speaking from a Little Chef on the M3 where he was struggling with an Olympic Breakfast, the Labour leader told us he was surprised not to have received his invitation yet, but blamed Tory privatisation of the Royal Mail for its delay.
“As Prime Minister in waiting I will obviously have been invited,” said Corbyn, clumsily trying to slice an egg and getting yolk on his tie.
“I’ve asked Helen to keep me a chair somewhere near the front as I want to make notes about their pernicious neoliberal agenda.
“I’m sure they’ll be calling me any minute now”, he added before dropping his fork and knocking the ketchup over.