Jose Mourinho announces first Man Utd signing will be ‘London Routemaster’

author avatar by 8 years ago

New Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has told club officials to spare no expense in trying to sign one of London’s Routemaster buses on a long-term contract.

Although he is unlikely to officially take charge until later today, Mourinho has set out a list of transfer targets topped by the instantly recognisable London bus.

“A large bus is important for any successful defence,” Mourinho told reporters.

“Much of my success is based on having a decent sized bus to put behind the ball whenever necessary, and I want Manchester United to have a decent bus of their own.

“I would have preferred to have a homegrown bus that the fans think of as their own, but they seem to use something called a ‘tram’ up here and the buses they do have seem quite small.

“Ultimately, I know what a London Routemaster is capable of, I trust it, and I know the fans will come to love it in the way the Chelsea fans did.”

Manchester United fan Simon Williams was not enthusiastic about the new signing.

“I was hoping for Ibrahimovic, and I really don’t like the sound of Mourinho parking the bus at Old Trafford – but on the plus side at least it’s red.”