Men who like to dress up as dogs have admitted it’s just because they like defecating in public.
Following Channel 4’s documentary, The Secret Life of Human Pups, those featured have sought to set the record straight.
Human Pup Simon Williams told us, “Some people have claimed this is nothing more than a sexual perversion, but they are completely wrong.
“There is nothing sexual about shitting on a piece of grass while people walk past and becoming overly excited at the prospect of licking a perfect strangers arsehole.”
Williams went on to explain that all hobbies are weird if you think about it.
He went on, “What about gathering sheep hair and using small sticks to turn it into a hat? Bizzare.
“Sitting on a riverbank plucking fish from the water before putting them straight back in again? Absolutely mental.
“It certainly puts ‘dragging your arse along the carpet because you need worming again’ into perspective, doesn’t it.
“Like all things, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me there’s a postman I need to chase down the street.”