by 
Beleaguered train company Southern Rail will rebrand as ‘Travelling Git Buckets,’ in a bid to better reflect the service offered.
The company is currently beset by industrial action and is regularly voted the worst in the country with a recent survey showing that 76% of passengers would rather their train service was run by the Taliban.
“We thought that it was time for a change of image,” said Southern Rail chief Charles Horton.
“The most important thing was to change to a name that really reflected our utter contempt for our customers.
“So, our customers are gits, our trains are big buckets of misery, the only bit we’re not sure of is ‘Travelling’ as services only really do that on the increasingly rare occasion when they’re not cancelled.”
Passengers seemed non-plussed by the rebrand.
“Rebrand you say,” said emotionally shattered commuter Simon Williams currently awaiting a service from London Bridge.
“I’ve been waiting for this train for so long I’ve forgotten my kids’ names, I don’t care about a rebrand.”
It has been suggested that money spent on a costly rebrand could be better used improving the service.
“Yes, of course we could spend the money on service improvements but- sorry, what part of ‘contempt for passengers’ didn’t you understand?”
