Muirfield Golf Club to continue demanding to see prospective members’ penises

author avatar by 8 years ago

Potential members of Muirfield Golf Club must continue showing their penis to the membership committee after they rejected plans to allow women to join the club.

The Scottish golf club announced on Thursday that its members had voted against allowing women to join and that the ‘now show me your penis’ section will remain part of the membership interview.

After a “comprehensive” two-year consultation process described as “thorough” and conducted “with all due diligence and professionalism”, club members decided that seeing the penis of prospective members remains non-negotiable.

Member Simon William, 67, told us, “Personally speaking, I’d be happy for women to join our golf club, but only once they’ve shown their penis to the membership committee.

“If they can do that, then I’d even join them for a round or two as a welcome.

“I had to show my penis to the membership committee when I joined, as did all the other members when they joined – so I don’t see why it should be different for the women.

“They say they want equality, but it seems to me that when it comes down to it what they actually want special treatment.

“So I’m sorry, no showing of the penis, no membership.”