The BBC has decided to remove 11,000 recipes from its website, much to the disappointment of millions of people who never, ever use them.
35-year-old BBC fan Simon Williams told us, “The BBC is an institution that we must protect, and these recipes are a valuable resource that people such as myself like to think we might use one day.
“Many, many times over the years I’ve looked at the recipe site for inspiration, before ultimately deciding I don’t have the time or ingredients to make anything good and settling for a cheese sandwich.
“But I do make an excellent cheese sandwich.”
BBC officials have said the money saved by closing the recipe website will ensure they have the sufficient budget for more high-profile projects, such as filming Chris Evans doing a skid in a Ferrari in high-definition super-slow-mo.
Culture secretary John Whittingdale said that making the BBC a recipe free zone is something that has always been a dream of his.
He explained, “Licence fee payers money should not be spent providing a resource for the minority of people with experimental palates.
“Not when the vast majority of the country eats take-out most nights and insists on boiling vegetables until they’re essentially soup.”
Rupert Murdoch is expected to announce a subscription-based ad-funded recipe site by the end of the week.