Former London Mayors go on about Hitler because of something in the water, City Hall confirms

author avatar by 8 years ago

Former mayors of London go on about Hitler because special ‘Hitler Powder’ is added the water, city hall has confirmed.

The water supply to the Mayors office contains the special extra ingredient which results in them ending up with a peculiar obsession with tinpot despots.

Hitler Powder takes effect with 24 hours of leaving office and can remain in the system for years, compelling the user to go on television to say things like “I think what Hitler was trying to say was…”, to reactions of open-mouthed horror from onlookers.

The combination of Hitler Powder and the publicity it creates can prove addictive, and lead to articles in the Daily Telegraph and appearances on Question Time.

When informed he’d been drinking the  tainted water during his time in office, former mayor Boris Johnson said that was just the sort of thing Hitler would do.

“I don’t even know why we started adding it but it must have seemed a good idea at the time”, a city hall insider told us.

“We think it’s a holdover from the 1980s when Ken Livingstone was in office the first time around and we just never stopped.

“Still, we’ve got bags of the stuff and it doesn’t seem to do any lasting harm.

“Oh, wait.”

Supporters of new Mayor Sadiq Khan have suggested that he only drink bottled water on the premises, but we understand he called them ‘Uncle Toms’ before downing a pint in one.