Radiohead somehow sells millions of albums without writing a single tune

author avatar by 7 years ago

Rock band Radiohead have leapt to the top of the charts with an album that doesn’t contain a single actual tune.

Hailed by critics as a masterpiece, the album is composed of a single, repetitive, forty-five-minute drone built up from layers of guitar, violins, and not enough cowbell – and is roughly the auditory equivalent of tuning your TV to static for as long as you can stand it.

The band claim there are individual tracks in amongst the white noise and have included copious sleeve notes and timings so listeners can tell where one ends and the next begins using a stopwatch.

Praised as a stunning return to tuneless form for a band which first made its mark by complaining they weren’t happy over a monotonous dirge over twenty years ago, the album – A Moon Shaped Pool – contains Radiohead’s trademark nasal hum overlaid with the knowledge that they’re knocking on a bit now too.

The first single – But I liked it the way it was – is all about how Thom Yorke doesn’t like the modern world very much.

Things are bad/

It weren’t like this when I were a lad/

Things would be better, can’t you see/

If they were just like how they used to be/

When I was twenty-three.

The album is understood to be selling well amongst middle-aged men who consider AC/DC a bit too original and dangerous for their tastes.