North Korea to give Kim Jong-Un new title of King of Pop

author avatar by 8 years ago

North Korea’s ruling party is to bestow the title of King of Pop on leader Kim Jong-un in a move that seeks to consolidate Jong-Un’s position as leader of the country and party for life.

“Dear Leader will now be known as King of Pop for in order to recognise his brilliant moonwalking and being nice to chimps,” read the terse statement from the ruling party.

The announcement came at the end of the first Workers Party Congress in 36 years, an event in which everyone in North Korea comes together to let Kim Jong-Un win at things.

The new title, which had been widely anticipated, is an addition to an already impressive list of titles bestowed on the ‘Dear Leader,’ including Pope, Heavyweight Champion of the World, Khaleesi, the biggest dog in the world, Darth, Crufts champion, and Prime Minister of Great Britain.

‘King of Pop’ Kim Jong-Un celebrated his new title by performing a medley of Michael Jackson hits in front of a crowd of thousands, all cheering with the wild abandon that only comes from having large men in uniforms pointing automatic weapons at your face.

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