The Age of Aquarius – which was expected to usher in a new era of peace and understanding amongst all mankind – is pretty much a wash, hippies have confirmed today.
The Age was supposed to have dawned during the free love era of the 1960s and 70s, although that might have just been something people off their heads said in order to get laid.
The Aquarian age would result in peace, love and goodwill as the spiritual consciousness of humanity would be expanded by the Moon being in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligning with Mars.
However, film footage of ISIS burying their own soldiers alive to deter desertions has led to some concluding it’s not really worked out like that.
Astronomers have also confirmed hippies aren’t returning their calls as they’d like to ask some pretty difficult questions about what the heck all that is supposed to mean anyway.
“Look, man,” ageing hippy Moonchild Dreamheart told us.
“The Aquarian Age will happen, it’s just we might have got the dates a bit out.
“Whilst we wait, maybe you’d like to toke on this and maybe take your top off?
“Clothes, especially bras, are a sign of breadhead materialist oppression that everyone will reject in the future.
“Hey, come back! I need someone to put a pound in the meter!”
Protesters have demanded that world leaders take notice of the dawning of the New Age and adjust their behaviour accordingly, although when told this Vladimir Putin is understood to have laughed uncontrollably for five whole minutes.