Tony Stark wins Invictus Games

author avatar by 8 years ago

Billionaire Tony Stark, who received severe chest wounds in Afghanistan, is on track to take gold in all events at the Invictus Games.

Stark, who was seriously injured during a terrorist attack in Lashkar Gar, attributed his success to a custom made “mobility suit” which enabled him to outpace other contestants by speeds of up to 2,600 mph.

The Invictus Games were founded by Prince Harry for disabled ex-servicemen and women, and some feel that Stark taking part rather misses the point.

“This is a triumph for state-of-the-art prosthetics,” said a clearly delighted Stark.

And Stark was dismissive of suggestions that he was “not a proper soldier”.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to speak to my lawyers about that,” he said.

Hotly tipped triathlete and former Royal Marine Simon Williams, who was beaten to the gold by Stark, described him as “a bit of a jerk with something to prove,” but seemed relaxed about his second place.

“He’s invited all of us back to his place for an after-games party,” we were told.

“Now if you’ll excuse me I believe that’s our Lear Jet over there.”