Friends breathe sigh of relief as Facebook user declares he’s ‘taking a break’

author avatar by 8 years ago

Over 200 people today were reported to be feeling massive relief after a Facebook friend of theirs decided to stop using Facebook for a while.

Simon Williams, 42, of Wellingborough, posted: “I’ve decided to take a break from Facebook for a few weeks to get my life in order and devote more time to offline activities such as running, eating buns, and
watching TV.”

Friend Susan Jenkins, 38, said, “Thank God, finally.

“All we ever hear about these days is his running times, the number of buns he’s eaten and all the TV programmes he hates. Not to mention all the bloody petitions he signs in his pathetic attempts to ‘save the world’.”

Another friend, who wished to remain anonymous, said: “I commented on his status to say I will miss him, but to be honest I’ll be glad to see the back of him. Facebook is good like that.

NewsThump Best sellers

“Every day he shares stories from The Guardian about how awful the world is. Who needs it?”

When asked why, on this basis, they hadn’t already unfriended Williams, his friends made vague replies such as “I don’t know, really” and “Who is he exactly?”

One expanded: “Unfriending just seems such an unkind thing to do, even though I can’t stand him. He can make my news feed incredibly tedious.”

Williams post has so far been “liked” over 200 times.

He commented, “I think the popularity of this status update indicates how much people secretly detest the tyranny of social media. We suffer from information overload and yet carry on scrolling and scrolling through our news feeds.

“When someone is actually brave enough to put their head above the parapet and go offline for a while, we love them for it and wish we had the nerve to do it ourselves.”

Williams has since been reported as being back on Facebook after a break of two days.

His latest status update reads, “Thank you all for your support during this difficult time.

Susan Jenkins clicked “like” on the update before telling us, “Fuck’s sake. Will this guy never fuck off?”

NewsThump Hoodies