Britain welcomes in autumn

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After a balmy four-day summer that saw temperatures reach 27C, Britain has said goodbye to barbecues and shorts, and welcomed in autumn.

“It was definitely one of our longer summers on record,” said weather reporter Carol Kirkwood.

“Four days, or really four and a half if you include last Thursday afternoon, is quite something.

“Last year was only three days, and in 2014, the British summer consisted of 45 minutes one Thursday afternoon.”

Britain is now braced for a traditional seven month autumn of drizzle, high winds and slate grey skies before giving way to a traditional four-month winter of slightly colder drizzle, high winds and slate grey skies.

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Many people enjoyed the fact that this year’s summer had fallen across a weekend.

“Well, I for one had a brilliant summer,” said a profoundly sunburnt and hungover Simon Williams, a lozenge wrapper from Bridlington.

“As soon as I saw that summer was going to going to last for all that time, I booked myself a long weekend, got in three crates of strong lager and laid down in the park.

“Four days later, I got up and came back to work.

“It’s a shame it’s over, but I’ll always have the memories.”

Early indications are that 2017’s summer will take place slightly later on June 10th.