America is doing its damnedest to like Hillary Clinton today.
The plucky country has described liking Clinton as an uphill struggle, but hopes to manage it within the next six months.
The rest of the world has generously recognised America’s problem, recognising that Hillary Clinton isn’t what you might call ‘likeable’.
Or nice. Or honest, charismatic, reliable, consistent, trustworthy, or in any other way fit for power.
However, America hopes to acclimatise to regarding her as something approaching ‘human’ within half a year, which will still be a considerable step up from her opponent.
“Look, we’re being given a shit sandwich here,” said ordinary American Chuck Williams.
“We’ve got to nibble round the crust without getting any of the really lumpy bits, so bear with us.
“We’re not enjoying this any more than you are, believe us.”