Donald Trump admits to a thousand career rapes

author avatar by 8 years ago

After redefining ‘rape’ as manipulating negotiating conditions to ensure you get the best deal possible, Donald Trump has admitted to thousands of rapes during his career.

Trump claimed China has ‘raped’ the United States, after employing tactics directly from his book The Art of the Rape.

Trump told reporters, “My book, The Art of the Rape, shows precisely how to rape the other person so you get exactly what you want.

“China, for all their faults, are obviously big Donald Trump fans, and have adopted my methodology to the letter.

“Like me, they have raped thousands of people over the years – because you don’t get to this position without creating a few rape victims along the way.

“And to those rape victims, I say, ‘you should have negotiated better’.”

“China have particularly taken to heart #5 and #11 of my rape tactics from Art of the Rape;, ‘Use your leverage’ and ‘have fun’. They’ve done both brilliantly, and look at them go!

“But I tell the voters now, under a Donald Trump presidency I can promise the American people that we will forever be the rapists, not the rapees.”