Zac Goldsmith to seek redemption with demonstration of quail eating etiquette

author avatar by 7 years ago

Zac Goldsmith is to redeem himself in the eyes of London voters by showing everyone he is more than capable of eating quail without looking like an idiot.

After being photographed drinking a pint in precisely the manner you would expect of someone who has never held a pint in their life, Goldsmith is keen to win back the trust of voters in the London Mayoral election.

Goldsmith told reporters, “I grant you, a ‘pint’ – it is ‘pint’, yes? – is not something I spend a great deal of time holding, but I do know to remove the meat from a roast quail without looking like a barbarian – and that’s what modern London needs in a mayor.

“Our capital deserves a gentleman who knows that the meat should be removed using a quail fork, but that your fingers can be used to remove any shot left in the bird from the shoot you enjoyed earlier in the day.

“Does Sadiq Khan know that? No, I’ll bet he doesn’t.

“I will happily face Saqid in a culinary etiquette challenge of his choice, as long as it doesn’t include anything ‘ethnic’ or working class.”