But we caught the Yorkshire Ripper, insist South Yorkshire police

author avatar by 8 years ago

South Yorkshire police force have urged everyone to remember the one famous case in which they probably didn’t fabricate the evidence.

The totally discredited organisation says the arrest of the Yorkshire Ripper over thirty years ago marked a golden age in South Yorkshire crime prevention.

Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe, murdered twelve women before South Yorkshire’s crack anti-crime squad eventually got around to arresting him.

Although most of the murders were committed in the Leeds and Bradford areas, South Yorkshire Police spent over three-thousand man hours looking for a man with a broad Liverpool accent.

Meanwhile a statement from retired Chief of Police, Simon Williams, appeared on the force’s website, which read: “Too many people focus on the negatives like Hillsborough, the Rotherham child abuse scandal, the use of rhino whips on striking miners at Orgreave and the documented use of tasers on the streets of Leeds every two weeks.

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“There’s more here, but I realise you have busy lives.

“All that aside, we did catch The Ripper and thirty years on we’re still pretty sure he’s the right guy.

“Thanks to our dedication and hard work, women these days know better than to go out after dark wearing short skirts, drunk.”

The Ripper was finally charged when South Yorkshire officers realised the hammer in the boot of his car may not have been used for putting up shelves as he claimed.

Those questioned by police in connection with the Ripper murders are now seeking compensation, including Jimmy Tarbuck, Les Dennis and the lead singer of Echo and The Bunnymen.

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