Judge in Stairway to Heaven lawsuit promises unrehearsed 45-minute solo summing up speech

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The judge in the Stairway to Heaven copyright case will make an unrehearsed 45-minute solo summing up speech.

Speaking without notes or reference to anyone else in the courtroom, he will drone on seemingly at random, covering points of law from multiple genres and eras.

Judge Gary Klausner says he plans to turn the law ‘up to eleven’ for his speech, which is hotly anticipated by fans.

He may well take quite a lot of drugs before he begins speaking.

Law students are already divided over whether this will be the greatest summing up of all time.

“Man, you didn’t hear Lance Ito summing up the O.J. Simpson case back in ’95,” UCLA student Simon Williams told us.

“He must have spoken for hours; a sweeping, transcendent exploration of law, life, and what it means to be human expressed through the medium of a point by point breakdown of an open and shut murder case.

“It was beautiful, beautiful.

“I just stared at my hands whilst he spoke, entranced by the oneness of everything.

“And if you can remember the summing up in Roe vs Wade then you weren’t there, man.” he added.

Many students follow their favourite judges on the circuit, listening to their extemporising to catch the faintest nuance of tone.

However, non-legal outsiders describe the whole law scene as actually really boring if you’re not whacked out of your tree.