Introduction of living wage puts Rentaghost out of business

author avatar by 8 years ago

Local spook recruitment agency Rentaghost is to close its doors due to the introduction of the living wage.

The company has been told to end its discriminatory hiring policy which has seen it only employing low-paid members of the living dead, and bring salaries into line with the living.

Having to pay staff who are to all intents and purposes stone dead £8.25 an hour proved the last straw for the company, which has been struggling for some years.

Owner Fred Mumford has appealed to the government for financial aid to help him avoid redundancies, but none has been forthcoming.

“This is just typical,” he told us. “It’s one law for the living and another for the dead.”

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“Our strapline is ‘if your mansion house needs haunting’, and so obviously threats of a mansion tax hit that side of the business pretty hard; and competition from cheaply provided foreign freaks, fools, spooks and ghouls means we simply can’t compete.”

The company’s troubles were first reported some years ago when their use of a teleporting pantomime horse was ruled unlawful under EU livestock transport regulations.

Cavorting buffoon Timothy Claypole was later penalised by HMRC for failing to declare his jester’s motley as a benefit in kind.

When asked what would happen to the staff, Mr Mumford told us they would be turned onto the street.

“This is just throwing hard-working ghosts on the scrapheap to end up squatting in buildings that people don’t want haunting,” he said.

“I mean, who ya gonna call?”

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