The man paid by Johnny Depp to say he’s still got it has revealed he’s still got it today.
Speaking to reporters in Australia, where Depp and his wife faced charges of smuggling a dog in his private jet, Depp’s agent confirmed that he’s still the cool, edgy performer he always was and will soon be blowing audiences away with a succession of quirky, left field performances of the sort they haven’t seen before – assuming they haven’t seen any of his other films.
Depp’s agent Simon Williams told the world that his client wasn’t interested in the whole fame thing and just wanted to work on interesting, low-budget movies that had ‘meaning’.
“Johnny is really cool and ‘the kids’, as a segmented marketing demographic, all respect and like him,” we were told.
“As a performer, he’ll continue to break new ground and has a number of exciting and original projects lined up. His diary includes returning for a Tim Burton sequel and returning for a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.
“He’ll probably use his unconventional persona and underground, breakthrough style try and sell you more aftershave as well.”
When asked, Johnny Depp’s dog said that all things considered being put down by the Australians might have actually been a blessing.