World commemorates 25 years since release of last decent Terminator movie

author avatar by 8 years ago

A series of events are planned around the world to mark 25 years since the last decent Terminator film, the United Nations has confirmed.

Terminator 2, which was released in 1991, is widely regarded as the last time Hollywood did anything notable with the idea of time-travelling robots.

United Nations secretary-general Ban Ki-Moon lead the opening ceremony in the commemorations.

“A quarter of a century ago, the world came together to celebrate the simple, universal story of robots from the future trying to murder Sarah Connor,” he told assembled delegates.

“Alas, the dreams of that happier time proved false.

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“But the world still holds out hope; hope for a future where Judgement Day isn’t retconned yet a-fucking-gain.

“I’m not a scriptwriter or anything, but not recasting John Connor, Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor every five minutes might help too,” he added to applause from members of the Security Council.

Moon then called for a two-minute silence to be held out of respect for the millions who lost their time and money sitting through Terminator:Genisys.

The United Nations is to hold talks with rogue Hollywood studios to try to convince them to stop just cranking out sequels and to engage with the international community by making sequels people will want to watch at least more than once.

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