A local pet shop has ‘no idea whatsoever’ if they stock chameleons.
Owner Simon Williams was asked if he had any of the reptiles for sale but just shrugged and looked around his shop before admitting he hasn’t got a fucking clue.
He then pointed at various parts of his shop including a tartan wall, a poster of a rainbow and a fractal design on a rug and asked if we’d looked in any of those places.
“Maybe, mate. Maybe,” he told us. “Could be some, I dunno. Have you looked?
“I might have some stick insects for sale in the garden instead. But then again there might not be. Who can say?
“Look, are you sure you don’t just want a cat or a hamster or something?”
Eventually Williams admitted he didn’t have any hedgehogs for sale either, but had just painted a cactus brown.