Senior climate change sceptics have announced their intention to start denying the existence of the moon.
“It’s about broadening our portfolio of shit-hot bonkers ideas,” announced Simon Williams who has a doctorate in Climateopathy, which he downloaded from the internet for 50p one Sunday afternoon when it was raining.
“The evidence that we’re morons and just fuckheadedly wrong has been building for some time now. Which has been fabulous in terms of growing our business.
“But going forward, we have to think how we can compete with the growth of lunatic ideas in other sectors.
“I mean hats off to the Anti-Vaxxers for instance. The work they’re doing in giving measles a chance to spread is fantastic. It’s just a shame Smallpox was eradicated before they had a chance to do some real harm.”
NASA scientists were amongst the many to react tiredly to the announcement. “The moon? But it’s there. It just is. How the fucking hell can they deny that?”
But Simon Williams was unperturbed. “I can think of literally loads of books from before the 20th century which don’t mention the moon at all,” he said.
“And if that doesn’t prove the moon’s a recent cultural invention, then maybe I just have no fucking clue whatsoever about the nature of evidence or scientific enquiry.”