King Canute launches online petition demanding tide goes back

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King Canute has today launched an online petition demanding the tide goes back, generating 26,743 signatures in a matter of hours.

Canute, ruler of the Anglo-Scandinavian Empire, is reported to be furious about the refusal of the tide to turn back on his say-so and has turned to petition site 38 Degrees to make the difference.

Before launching his petition Canute is reported to have spent some time sat on his fat arse shouting “Go back! Go back!” at the tide, and is outraged that this did not work so is attempting to rally support to his cause.

If the petition gains 100,000 signatures the government will be forced by law to debate the tide turning back back in parliament.

Describing the failure of the tide to do as it is told as unreasonable and undemocratic, Canute said he hoped a successful petition would demonstrate widespread public support for the move.

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At time of writing, Canute has noticed his feet are wet and has launched a petition demanding the government buy him a towel.