French men to focus on having affairs

author avatar by 8 years ago

French men will have to focus on getting their extra-marital sex through consensual affairs, rather than prostitution, after new laws banned paying for sex.

French MPs have passed a law that makes it illegal to pay for sex and imposes fines of up to €3,750 (£3,027, $4,274) for those buying sexual acts in the time-honoured manner.

Frenchman Simon Guilliames told us,”This is terrible news. Instead of paying a prostitute for sex, now I have to invest that money in things like dinners and gifts for a mistress, as well as losing all that extra time. It’s incredibly inconvenient.

“I don’t see why I am being punished for buying the odd blow job? Have they nothing better to do?

“And when you say I can’t pay for sex, you don’t mean emotionally do you? Because if you ban that too then I might end up celibate.”

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French officials have defended the decision, telling customers of prostitutes that extramarital sex shouldn’t be so seedy, and should include nice hotels and expensive champagne.

However others inside the government claim that making it illegal to pay for sex will make the need for sex just go away.

As one official explained, “We believe that this move will put an end to the sexual desires of the people who use prostitutes, and will therefore improve the moral well-being of our entire nation.

“No, that’s not a joke.”