Hollywood screenwriters announce they’ve finished the script for Batman vs Superman

author avatar by 8 years ago

Screenwriters in Hollywood have today proudly announced they’ve finished the script for Batman vs Superman a mere two weeks after it came out.

The finished script is reported to be ‘great’, with solid characterisation, no plot holes and a villain whose plan makes sense.

Writers told reporters that they sent producers a first draft about 18 months ago, but it was a right load of old tosh and they’re glad it wasn’t made.

Scriptwriter Simon Williams, who has been furiously hammering at his typewriter in seclusion for the last two years, told us, “Some of the early drafts were really hokey.

“We had one idea where Superman was this really boring, angry guy all the time, and another where Lex Luthor was a twitchy, manic tech billionaire with daddy issues.

“You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff we’ve tightened up. Wonder Woman has been given a speaking part rather than just standing there like a mannequin, and there was a scene with Aquaman where he just kinda waved at the camera for a minute or two before being forgotten about again that we felt added nothing.

“But we dumped all that maybe a year ago and the script is far better for it.”

Williams went on to thank the studio for giving him time to really polish the script rather than rushing something into production to meet arbitrary marketing schedules.

Upon being shown the latest copy of the Hollywood Reporter, Williams is understood to have broken down and cried.