Scientists have discovered a rich man who pays all the tax he is supposed to, according to sources this morning.
Simon Williams is CEO of a large financial company based in the UK and according to leaked papers from Panamanian law firm Mossack Fonseca he does not hide wealth, own fake assets, launder money, dodge sanctions, freeze trusts, own a shell company, perform equity swaps, use tax havens, or in any way avoid paying his tax.
“I just think everyone should pay their fair share,” said Mr Williams yesterday.
However, his contemporaries were scathing.
“Pussy,” said the Icelandic PM Sigmundur Gunnlaugson.
“What’s the point in being fabulously wealthy if you can’t use your fabulous wealth to become even more fabulously wealthy?”
American millionaire and life coach Marianna Olszewski agreed.
“Apart from being illegal, there is nothing wrong with not paying tax so frankly I think that Mr Williams must just be a very, very stupid man indeed.”
However, the Mossack Fonseca leak, whilst exposing the extent of tax evasion amongst the elite, has proved particularly interesting to Mr Williams.
“They do offer a comprehensive list of services, don’t they?” he said, after reading through the revelations.
“I can’t help feeling a bit foolish for not taking advantage of some of these.
“I wonder if I can get on their mailing list?”