Satirical website not really sure what to do today

author avatar by 7 years ago

April Fool’s Day has presented a prestigious satire site with a curious dilemma.

NewsThump is a page dedicated to making up news stories for the purposes of satire, humour and general fuckery.

“So essentially, every day is April Fool’s day for us,” said Simon Williams, CEO of Newsthump, from behind his enormous desk in an office bedecked with rich mahogany.

“We could make up something hilarious and false, but that’s pretty much our day-to-day remit; in fact, ‘make up something hilarious and false’ is emblazoned on the wall in the lobby of our 80 storey office building.

“Although a lot of people seem to be commenting on Facebook with things like ‘nice try’ and ‘yeah right’… So I think they’ve somewhat misunderstood our raison d’etre.

“I guess we are the antithesis of the April Fool, so our only real option would be to run an entirely accurate weather report. But I’m not sure that’s terribly funny.

“We could just do something about Britain First in an effort to make them look silly, but all of the fish in that particular barrel were shot long ago.

“I guess we’ll just hack through as usual. At least there’s lobster for lunch. Again.”