Literally everywhere now sells Craft Ale

author avatar by 8 years ago

Schools, funeral directors, mosques; what have they all got in common? They’ve all joined the Craft Ale revolution.

According to a recent study, literally everywhere now sells Craft Ale.

The last place in the a country not to serve Craft Ale was an Alcoholics Anonymous group in Reading, however that ended last Thursday when it began selling ‘Five days dry lager’.

The Craft Ale phenomenon began eighteen months ago when pub-goers noticed that it was impossible to pop out for a pint without being charged upwards of ten pounds for a pint of something peculiarly coloured that was roughly the strength of absinthe.

Since then Craft Ale has begun to appear everywhere, from haberdasheries to terrorist cells.

Big issue seller Simon Williams has seen sales boom since he started providing ‘Flaming Widdicombe’ Pale Ale to his regulars.

“It’s been amazing,” he said.

“Before, I used to barely make enough money to spend a few nights a week in a hostel, but since I started selling the Craft Ale, I’ve got a mansion, a butler and I’ve even married a minor Kardashian.”

With Craft Ale pubs opening under the sea, on the Moon, and even in a theoretical parallel universe, the phenomenon shows no sign of slowing down.